It has been a while…


My blog tells me that it has been 5 months since I wrote something here. I guess it is time to start writing again. If only planning to write , wanting to write and writing were all easy to do as they used to be.

Collecting thoughts and putting them down on paper (ahem) isn’t easy anymore. There is so much to say, so much I should not say and so much more that should have been said a long time ago. 

But one has to restart somewhere. Let it be now and let it be here. At the moment that I am still sad that my first born is not at home anymore , yet happy and proud of the man he has turned out to be. He has flown the coop . He is happy at a college in the US. This moment is precious to me. I just realized he misses home. I also just realized how selfish I am!

Let the feeling sink in, I keep telling myself. It hasn’t yet. He is still a child. He still behaves the same. He still is the same. I know it is wishful thinking to hope that he will always remains the same.

I started blogging when my kids were small and blogged through their teenage. In this new phase as a college mom, I am not sure what to blog about anymore. Until I figure out what to write about, I am leaving you with something that’s close to my heart these days :

Missing someone is bad enough, but being missed feels even worse…



It isn’t in the honour or accolades that a writer breathes,
It’s in the inner peace that writing brings,
I write to feel the warmth of the written word,
It’s effect on this cold soul within.

Many years of happiness and pain,
Maketh a writer more supreme,
A writer known for their writing will inturn,
Suffer many more years of happiness and pain.

How different is a writer from a normal soul?
How elite is this crowd that pride?
Aren’t humans a part of the stories we tell?
Aren’t emotions that we shamelessly sell?

Humans above humans, we know not what we think,
It is all for praise for a job well done,
While another human sits to decide, with malice even,
If what I write is in any way worth his while… 

Make it Happen


Dear World,

Today, when the entire world is celebrating “Women’s Day”, we Indians have our heads bent low in shame. We truly deserve to be in this state though! We have amongst us men who believe that “women are flowers” as long as they sit at home like slaves. The moment she gets out of her home alone, she is equivalent to prey. Open for anyone to attack her!

After watching “India’s Daughter”, I couldn’t control my rage at the nonsense I got to witness. I am so glad that this documentary was made and shared with the world. I know that a defense lawyer has to try and justify his clients. But the words I heard were not justifications of a crime committed, but plain and simple venom towards the modern women of India. I hope every Indian sees this and realizes the kind of villains we are harbouring amongst us!

Every revolution starts with a spark. Let Jyoti’s light be the harbinger of freedom for Indian Women. Let us be united in letting the world know that we Indian Women are not anyone’s property and we are very much capable of taking care of ourselves. If animals decide to attack us for any reason, they should be shot down like rabied animals generally are!

May her soul rest in peace knowing that she was able to bring about a change in the mindset of at least a few people. The ripple effect will take care of the rest.

It is not a Happy Women’s Day at all today. Not because of the death of one of India’s daughters, but because of the audacity of a few men to air such views about women and the government’s delay in revoking their licenses to practice law. How can our judicial system be trusted ever again? How are we supposed to feel equal in this democracy when there are such animals walking around in the courts of law?

Hope the civilized human race understands the sadness that engulfs us today and our desperate need to fight for our freedom from such indignity. Let us together make it happen!

An Indian

Being Hurt


Being hurt is a sign of being human. Maturity should not take that from us.


When we are in a situation that has no solution, what can we do? 

I saw an ad recently issued in public interest about men and crying. It seems it  is something that has been grilled into boys for generations. 

Boys don’t cry!  Ladke rote nahi hai!

My first born is a boy and oh boy , the way he cried just after birth. His cries have kept me awake for nights together when he had the hernia and he couldn’t express what was hurting him. 

My husband cried the day our son was born. He cries when he sees any of us in pain. It’s a natural feeling to be hurt or to cry. Gender has nothing to do with it. Neither does age or maturity. 

It’s all about how much of a human we are. The daughter and I are a bit too human that way. Some insensitive people call us “too” sensitive. We are proud of it though! And no, we were not “taught” to cry because we are women. 

Yes, I am hurt. I am not embarrassed to express it. My life isn’t what I wanted it to be. I am not all what I could have been. 

I never thought being a mother would make me want to not want anything more in life. But it did. Even though it hurt every step of the way. The hurt of seeing my children grow. The hurt of them preparing to start a new life. The hurt of the first few harsh words that teenagers use. I have been there , done that and I have a few grey hairs and wrinkles to prove it. 

I see pregnant ladies in parks and malls and wonder if they have any idea how dramatically their life is going to change. The second child adds to that equation, the complexity of being “fair” and of equality. It never a ends, the battle against hurt. Yet we embrace each new hurt with a smiling face. We are only human. Humans that need love, care, understanding and a reason to continue living.

Laugh when you feel happy, cry when emotions overwhelm you.

That’s what life is all about. The simple essence of it. The essence of being ourselves. About being open to hurt and gaining the ability to overcome that pain. We mature, we learn, we grow. 

Are you upset?


I am sure at least one out of five of us would answer to this in the affirmative. That is the sad truth about this world. Everywhere you turn, you see and hear things that upset you. 

The common complain is the rise of crime in our country. Early morning news bulletins are covered with them. News spread like wildfire through newspapers, radio and the Internet . Crime gainst men, against women, against children or against animals. Crime against another living thing is considered newsworthy. Prime time shows are set up to discuss the issue. People cash in on other people’s misery. All these upset the common man.

The world is full of nut jobs who make it a bad place to live in. Agreed. How many of these common men do you think know how to respect another individual or how to behave with other individuals in their own lives?

All through the work day, someone is backstabbing someone else , someone is overthrowing someone’s power, someone is trying to displace someone from a position so as to warrant a promotion for themselves. There are many whose sole purpose in life is to make others look bad. They try and cut the abled person from expressing his/her thought, because they know that this can be detrimental to their chances of a promotion. 

It is a cut throat world out there. Even in schools, which are not and should not be part of the corporate culture. It is such actions of cut throat competitions that the children watch and learn. Sensationalising rumours also form a part of the news hungry or gossip hungry world. No one wants to mind their own business. All are running the rat race not knowing what is on the other end of it. 

On the other end there is sheer exhaustion. Sheer disappointment for the kind of life they wanted to live and the kind of life they have ended up with. No success is solely our own. Someone somewhere has failed in their tasks to enable us to succeed and move ahead. That is the circle of life. But when we try to speed up the process, that is when things start to get ugly. 

In short, all through our life, we are upset about something or the other. During midlife we will find most of our compatriots in a Yoga Center somewhere relaxing their troubled nerves. Most of us will be on medications of some kind or the other. We have gained a lot in the past years, and we have lost a lot too.  Happiness, fortune and opportunities have come knocking on our doors. Yet we are left with the feeling that something is not right somewhere.

Many accept it and learn to deal with it. Some learn to live in denial. Everything that comes is papers and news are a matter of their concern. But what happens within their homes or offices,  every single day , is never in the limelight and hence not a concern.

Thank you newspapers and social media for helping us forget what we lack in our lives and giving us an excuse to vent our frustrations without anyone knowing the right reasons behind them. We are truly obliged. 

Whatever Happened to Love?


I had a conversation with my daughter a few days ago ( as compared to the shouting matches we generally have). She wanted to know if I was ever in love before I got married. The conversation was obviously about Love and Relationships and all that humbug about who is “with” whom in school. There was a time when this was an issue only with college students or at least high school girls and boys. But I am noticing this between children below the age of 14. Really? You decide whom you want to spend your entire life with at the age of 14?

I got hitched when I was 21 years old, and although I did make the right choice , at that point in time, I was not sure if I was ready for such a commitment! And at the age of 14? 14? And this is a serious issue that actually needs to be discussed with your mother!

I am a teacher too. I have seem how my colleagues react to linkups that happen in middle school nowadays. In this day and age, why do we still cling on to link ups and affairs?  Why can’t there be friendship between boys and girls and just leave it at that!

I asked her to make a list of Pros and Cons of having a boyfriend. The list contained, the “getting noticed”, the popularity, the “coolness” factor. The best feelings that any teenager can hope for. The cons column was empty. She wasn’t sure what to put in there.

Time getting wasted chatting and dreaming, the heartbreak that follows and how it will effect studies, the unwanted attention, the gossips, the jealousy, the break up. Each of these causes a roller coaster of emotions in us. That added to the adolescent changes can bring about disasters of the worst kind. Some even ending their lives because of the embarrassment.

Just remain friends with everyone. Get to know your friends. Discover what traits that you like in others. Develop them in yourself. Create an identity for yourself first. Then and only then, give a chance for love to step in. Anything that makes you jump into mistakes is not love , it is just an infatuation. Let those slip by until your mind is ready to understand and accept the real thing.

Nothing had happened to love. It is still very much there. It is just highly misread and misunderstood these days.